Anal sex can be great when done correctly. If you’re wanting to give it a go, there are a few things you need to know first to make sure it’s enjoyable. This might seem pretty obvious, but it’s important that you’re relaxed if you’re going to be having anal sex.
There are small muscles around your anus that can be very tight if you’re not relaxed. If you go straight into anal sex while these muscles and your anal sphincter are tight, anal sex will be painful and you may also risk anal tearing.
So, warm up and take your time. Practice some deep breathing and lead up to it with your partner.
A relaxing massage might help, and plenty of foreplay to get you in the mood.
Sex and relationships expert Annabelle Knight says preparation is key – and toys and fingers will help before full penetration.
She tells Metro.co.uk: ‘The trick to amazing anal play is preparation.
‘Whether it’s a toy, fingers or a penis going in there you need to make sure you take your time.
‘Invest in a progressive butt plug or anal dilator set for warming up and ALWAYS use a good quality anal lube (if you’re using toys that aren’t metal or glass make sure it’s water-based lubricant).
‘Apply the lube to yourself and whatever you’re inserting and take it slowly.
‘Allow time for your body to get used to the full sensation before moving on and if at any point it hurts, stop!’
It’s so important that you don’t rush anal sex, because taking your time and making sure you are relaxed and enjoying the sensations are the key to having good, pain-free anal.
This goes for when penetration is used, too – take it slowly. Do not force anything up there. The anus is a very delicate part of the body and any fast movements can cause pain and even small tears.
As Annabelle said, use lube – and lots of it – and understand that if you are going to have anal sex, it might be messy.
Use a condom and put a towel down. Don’t be embarrassed if you do see a bit of poo. Everyone knows where poop comes from, so nobody should be shocked when it happens when putting something in there.
You might feel some discomfort, and this isn’t something to worry about. But you shouldn’t feel pain.
Annabelle says: ‘A little discomfort is to be expected at first but not full on pain.
‘Combining anal penetration with vaginal play provides a more filling sensation (great if your partners on the smaller side) and excellent for g spot stimulation.
‘If you’re unsure about whether you’ll like it with a partner try it on your own first with toys to make sure, that way if it’s a definite no you can say upfront.’
If anal really, really hurts, stop. You are not prepared or relaxed enough, and continuing could do some damage.
You can always try again that same night, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself if it doesn’t work out for you the first time.
You have all the time in the world to make it work.
But remember, though some people love anal, for others, it’s just not for them. And that’s okay.
If you don’t like anal, don’t allow anyone to make you feel like you have to do it to please them.
Do not do something that you find no pleasure in doing. There are always lots of sexual things you can try – and if anal is a no-go for you, that’s completely okay.
But as mentioned, it can be great. As long as it is performed slowly, safely, carefully and correctly, those people who enjoy it will have a blast.
Annabelle adds: ‘Anal play is great because we all have a butt! It’s not genital, identity or sexuality dependent!’